I Can’t Live Without You
I was compelled, stretched, and stuck in a quarter-life crisis after a period of ‘I couldn’t achieve it all.’ I was unhappy because this is what you are supposed to be on days when things go astray.
Later in life, I was unhappy when I have achieved all that was my definition of happiness. To my utter surprise, I couldn’t be less fulfilled. Literally, all my blood, sweat, tears, and burning a candle at both ends went down the drain. I was struggling amid a successful ecosystem.
These were my definitions and my ingredients to achieve a Happily ever after, despite knowing it all happiness seemed elusive and repelling and me ever-gasping for air.
Failures and disappointments post-projection were innumerable. As they say only when you dent an understanding enough times in your mind, does it leave the surface weary! My surface layers are uneven now and that is good. It acts as a reminder for me and lifts the load of meticulous planning and scheduling. Life doesn’t happen as per plans, life has reiterated on several occasions, just that I was unsought and ignorant.
Don't grill yourself for having new experiences and making new mistakes.
You are not here to plan your whole life. Period.
There is no instruction manual because even when everything is observed, weighed, scheduled and planned, the events in our lives tend to take a recourse. For most of us beings who like to think being in control is a duty, it happens to single one of us. Yet we emotionally invest ourselves in pre-planning and taking care of the future course of things. This is blasphemous and contradictory to my nature.
Let's pledge to continue to plan but with a tweaked understanding. Let us draw a thin line between our personal happiness and the achievements of our keenly planned aspects.
Let's make the happiness us and our projections as ‘the happenings’ in the spaces of an already happy place.
Let us stop playing on repeat, “ I can’t live without you success!” Imbibe the same in our relationships with animate and inanimate, tangibles and intangibles, for you have never stopped being A Very Happy Place!